Three days in the midst of creation can do a person’s soul well. Last week I had the opportunity to go on a backpacking trip with a few of the YFC volunteers and nine of the shoe shiners that we have been working with. "El Choro" is the name of the trail and it's known as one of the best in Bolivia, almost 90% of it being Incan built roads. The sheer beauty of Bolivia is scene through the waterfalls, crystal clear rivers, mountains, llamas, little towns and the people. It was a nice three day hike, by no means was it easy, in fact I will say that it was rather difficult. I know of few other ways that friendships grow better than through eating, hiking and hurting together.
Things in my life continue to change. My family is changing, my friends are getting older, and some are even married, my life and the way in which I see it seems to always be changing at some level. As I encounter things in my life that I cannot seem to change, I seem be less willing to accept them and only find myself trying harder as if I can really change something. I know that I am not that old, but as I continue studying in the university and just continue to live life. It seems that the idea of surrender is just all that more uncomfortable. As I make plains and think of the future, the idea or even the thought of giving those things up for God is rather bothersome, the words of Christ become much more difficult “if you want to gain life, you must lose it.” Yet, does he not know what is best, I think the answer is clear, yet it’s still hard to let go.
As another day looks to be passing me by here in Bolivia, I am glad to know that I am loved.
8 comments:
“One of the greatest paradoxes of the Gospel is that surrender is victory. But what makes surrender so difficult is our lack of faith, our fear and insecurities, our need to manage our own lives and those of others, our little plains to which we cling so tightly.”
Brennan Manning
The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus
We can never surrender all just because we know we "should"...or because "it's what a christian says he does".....
human nature hides from itself...."I'm not that way"..."I've surrendered everything to Jesus!" (but my angry reactions to people and situations show another story). I'll never "just decide" to surrender to Jesus....
I need help to see my own need for Him....
I want to take other people's problems on and "fix" them because I believe I'm pretty good at fixing my own. And it makes me feel important!
Then disaster strikes....I'm wiped out....I see the true picture...I don't have it in myself .....I'm poor, really...dirt poor....and I'm dirty on top of being dirt poor.....and I can't clean myself up.
I need help.
All the above.....work of the Helper that Jesus sent to help me (Jesus wouldn't have sent a Helper unless He KNEW I would need help!).....I've been "set up"....
I needed the "dynamite" of disaster or hardship to see who I really am without Christ and where I am in life.....
Satan meant it for evil, but God meant it for good. God has the final say as I see that "if" I surrender to Him He will "be" all that I never can be. He'll be my very life. And He will rescue me and restore me to such awesome things I can never imagine.
But.....I have to surrender first.
A writer called it, "the Glad Surrender".
"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand".....it's here....it's now....starring you in the face waiting for your response.
Repent = turning away from the direction of sin I was going and embracing the One who made me and loves me.
I was made for His pleasure....not mine....that's why I never find peace or lasting happiness when I'm going "my way".
True heart repentance on my part happens only when I want intimate fellowship with God....I was made for intimate fellowship with God. The only thing that blocks that is my choice to sin.
That's why Jesus is so beautiful...
"Behold, the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world"
(that includes me....and you!)
Colby,
I just wanted to let you know that I sent you a letter about two weeks ago so it should be headed your direction. Is that el choro road the one that you were telling me about that was the most dangerous road in the world? I hope and pray that you are safe and that you are living and loving fully...you are missed here....I can't wait to see you when we meet again....blessings brother!
Teresa
To the anonymous one,
Thank you, for your words. I find a real joy often times in being wrong.
I have thought often that I might be missing out on something because I am trying to follow Jesus. Yet he knows best, I believe that there really is life in christ, true lasting life. Yet, sometimes I choose other things and I find much pain there. Once more thank you for your words. It was a blessing for me today.
Sweet, thank you for writing. I am safe and sound here in La Paz. To make things clear. El Choro is the name of the hiking trail that we did. The trail ends in another city called, Croico and the raod connecting Coroico and La Paz is known as the most dangerous road in the worlds. But, all is well, for now.
Is you comin', sucka?
Good to hear you had a good break from the city.
joe,
well I have about two weeks and a few days to go. I don't know if it's going to happen, but let me know when you get there and get setteled in. Talk to you soon.
i have been here for about a week and a half.
I'm pretty settled in haha. Mi Castellano will need to improve before I totally can ...
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